


Sometimes

by Numisma (InTheTatras)



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, F/M, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-05
Updated: 2006-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 22:56:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4281102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheTatras/pseuds/Numisma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Misa has her doubts just like everyone else. After all, Misa is only human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> Giftfic for Fluffy Fledgling. Takes place two years after the spoilerish events of chapter 58.

Misa Amane is surrounded by death.

Or rather, all of Japan is, but being engaged to Light Yagami, she is all the more closer to it.

For Misa it was love at first sight. Love that Kira, her savior, was such a person as Light. Without Kira, there was no telling how long her parents would remain unavenged. She's always loved Light, and she hopes it will never change.

But just like everyone else, Misa does have her doubts. After all, Misa is only human. Usually she is well adjusted and content to be with Light; however sometimes, sometimes she wonders.

Only his mouth seems alive to her when they kiss. Not his hands, it's like they itch to write down the names of the condemned, and nothing below the belt, it's like he's dead from the neck down. And sometimes she thinks she sees the sparkling and flickering of ghosts in his haunted eyes. When she spies them, she begins to wonder... when he kills, does he swallow up their lives just to keep himself afloat? And here is the evidence.

If that's what it is, that is.

Maybe her occult fanatic of a friend is rubbing off on her too much.

Sometimes there is an alluring craze in his empty smile, much like the one he wore just after the first time he kissed her in his room as their shinigami watched on. It used to excite her. Now it secretly chills her to the bone.

Misa always tells herself there's nothing there, that Light is all hers, but it worries her that it's been two years since they moved in together -and L is dead and gone and no more threat, obviously, because Light has become the new L and most are none the wiser- and they've yet to do more than sleep in the same bed. She'll scour the advice columns in her favorite rags, chewing on a pen cap as she vacillates between laughing at others' patheticism and feeling like she's the one worse off. Once or twice she's even written in to them... the letters have never been sent, though. Just as she finishes her secret signature she loses her nerve. Whenever she's like this she'll sit, grumbling with a pout on her face, until she finally gets up and walks over to the mirror on the wall to give herself a cursory freshening before she leaves their apartment, her mind set on an agenda of therapeutic shopping.

Then she raids the gothic-lolita stores in Harajuku.

On the way home she always buys flowers from the florist just a few blocks from their apartment building, and upon her return puts them in a vase to brighten up the place, setting them on the windowsill to give them some light.

It's far from a common practice -thrice in two years- since she's rarely driven to such a corner. Misa is normally the cheerful, well-adjusted poster girl that she's marketed to be.

But sometimes, just sometimes... Misa sits at the kitchen table and thinks of death. Not just any death. Her own death.

Waiting for Light to come home from headquarters, she'll wonder what sort of flowers will surround her coffin one day (hopefully far far in the future but even when you're engaged to a man like Light Yagami, nothing is ever for certain; even she cannot deny this, because she really, really wonders sometimes, since it's like his words are as empty as his smiles).

She hopes they will be roses.


End file.
